Wading the storms of Life...together in word.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Paralyzing Fear

            What is the scariest thing you have ever had to do?

Several years ago, I worked with a great group of kids as a youth sponsor at our church.  It was a great time in my life.  Those kids were amazing.  I remember one event consisted of a weekend long “campout” of all kinds of great activities and moments to really think about Christ and who we are in Christ.  One event was a zip-line. 

It looked simple enough.  A chair-like harness that zipped down through the trees and onto solid ground, it looked like a big swing almost.  I definitely wanted to do it. My kids (most of which who had already gone), stood on the solid green cheering me on.  As I climbed up this steep hillside, my whole perspective began to change. 

“What was I doing?”

This looked a little bit steeper than I had expected it to look.  This is just a hillside.  Its not like I am in the jungle or over large buildings.  I feel a little silly about being so scared.  So of course I continued.  What else was I going to do?

By the time I got up to the platform, I thought “I can NOT do this! What was I thinking?”

I asked the guy helping us get harnessed, “Has anyone else backed out of this at the last moment.”

He said with all seriousness, “No, you’d be the first!”

My kids were standing on the green yelling, “Laura! Wahoo, go Laura.”  How could I let them down?  How could I let them see my fear?

So, I did the unthinkable.  I let that guy strap that little chair-like harness to me and I JUMPED. 

On the way down, I sounded ridiculous screaming to the tops of my lungs. It was fun though. I just kept my eye on the “prize”, that little safe green patch of grass with all the people I loved routing me on. 

Am I glad I did that jump that day? Definitely!  Am I willing to do it again?  I so hope so!

I'm facing a different type of "jump" today and all my desires to do it are suddenly turning to doubt and fear.   Do I really need to do this?  I could stay in my safe, familiar place of friends and family but what all would I be missing?  I have a feeling I would miss out on way more than I could even imagine while standing here in this "safe place" of fear and regret. 

So, am I going to jump? I sure hope so!!

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