Are these words not being said in wedding ceremonies anymore? “In sickness and in health, till death do you part.”
Now, I’m not married and even though I want to be, I seriously question my willingness to stick it out when faced with a time of really not loving my husband, or just being completely disgusted or disappointed by him. So, the idea of walking away I definitely get. That is probably why I haven’t done it yet. But there is a reason that we said these vows so long ago and why they are called vows.
What kind of commitment do you have if it is superficial, if you know that it is only based on you being a certain way at a certain time?
“I’m not going to love you or stand by you if you get sick. I’m sorry that just inconveniences me.”
“I’m just not attracted to you now that you have gained 20 pounds. I’m sorry.”
“We are just not the same people anymore.”
“I just don’t love you like I use to.”
Marriage isn’t something that is built for just a season. It isn’t something established to revolve around you. Marriage is a commitment, an involvement, a follow through. When you get married, it is with the intention that things will change. Your feelings will change. Your looks will change. My grandparents are beautiful people, but they did not look the same at the end of their life as when they first married, but their love was stronger than it had ever been. And it is a guarantee that you will fall out of love with your spouse. I say that because to us, love is a feeling and feelings change. There are no guarentees with feelings. The truth is that LOVE is an act. It is something you choose to do even when you don’t feel like doing it. It is something that grows deep with nurture and care. The more hard times you go through and work through, the more deeply rooted your Love becomes.
And this is the love we all want, whether we admit it or not. To love without loss. To love without regret. To love without fear of losing. To love and to grow. To love and to trust. Love that walks away is never love like this.
The real question in any marriage is how deep of a love do you really want, and what are you willing to do to have that kind of love?