Wading the storms of Life...together in word.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Attitude or Gratitude???

                I am so mad at myself.  I have a class now where the total grade revolves around 4 quizes and 3 midterms.  My last midterm (our first one), I did way worse on than I had expected.  I was sure that I had at least a “B” even though what I really wanted and needed was an “A”.  I instead had a low “C”.
                Part of my problem is that I had been moving and did not study until the night before and only for an hour or two.  I thought I had a way better handle on the material than I really did, which leads to my other problem, my attitude.  I had gotten arrogant about how much I already knew, and thinking that things were going to be much easier for me than they ended up being.  Not that it is an easy class but I had already learned in previous classes this same material.
                The biggest problem I believe has been my attitude, and today’s event pulled me down further to a reality I needed.  This morning I had my third Quiz.  Last night I went over the material again and had planned to even get up early to study a little more.  I need to raise my grade from my last midterm.
I didn’t get up early though.  I wasn’t late but I felt like I had more time than I really did.  Eight a.m. became 8:17 am and then it was 10 till 9am before I left. 
There are two “rules” for this class.  Midterms/quiz’s can not be made up if missed AND if you arrive after the first person leaves, you are not permitted to take the test.
I got to the parking lot 5 minutes after class started.  It would have been another 5 minutes to walk in the door.  I had missed my opportunity.  I couldn’t believe it.  I never expected to be late.  I had every expectation on being early and even studying a little more.   So where exactly did I go wrong?
I took for granted where I was and where I needed to be.  I thought “I had it”.  I met someone else recently that had that same attitude.  This person had no room to learn or improve because in everything presented to her, she had the attitude “ya, ya, I got this” when really she didn’t. 
I don’t want that same attitude getting in the way of my possibilities in life.  This may seem like a silly analogy to you, especially with whatever you may be facing.  But for me, it loudly shouted “check yourself”.  So that is what I am going to do, here and in a few other areas too. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Does Communication ever frustrate you?

I say that redundantly because if you are at all human, it obviously does.  In fact if you are anything living, I would say that it does (cat, a fish, even a mouse).

Communication is clearly important.  It would literally be impossible to live with out it.  After all, we do depend on one another, do we not?  And that depending involves communicating.

I am not a good communicator.  I wish I were. I even wanted a degree in communication at one time and even now I think of days when I hope to speak to people communicating my story.  But I am not the best listener.  My thoughts run rapid in my mind and I am easily distracted by anything going on around me.  I loose interest quickly if not held by depth of thought. I frustrate others.  I know this because many of them have even told me.

Today while having lunch with a friend, I found myself so annoyed when I walked away.  Nothing bad happened or was said to cause either of us to get upset with the other, but how things were said I believe upset us both a little.  Today isn't the first time either. This happens almost all the time with this friend.

She drags out everything she states, and even though I let her know that I get what she is saying she continues to explain or state it in a way that takes unnessary time and energy to get a point across that I have made clear I already get.  She gets frustrated with me as I try to move the conversation along or eventually try to change the subject altogether.  But I get to the point of not even wanting to listen when I feel like she is talking only because she wants to and not because it is an actual conversation with me.

I obviously don't state this to insult my friend.  She is dear to me and I am very grateful for her friendship, but I sit here and think about why communication is important and what is most important about it?  How do we not let our own differences bring division?  How do we enjoy relationships or accomplish saying what needs to be said, without the frustration of not being heard getting in the way?

How do you communicate when it is clear to you both that you really do not know how to communicate?