Wow! For over a week, my heart has not spoken anything to me to write other than love and frustration. I refused to write about that because one, it is personal and two, why would you care to hear it. But tonight I am venturing out.
I keep thinking of an analogy for what I want to say and the only thing that comes to mind is the Heart of the Ocean Diamond on Titanic. That diamond was so beautiful and so ware. It was something treasured by many even to the point of searching the depths of the ocean in hopes of finding it, it’s rarity and value so great that few could ever afford it.
Sometimes that is how I feel in the idea of pursuing purity. The concept is so rare and so unheard of that few even touch it. They may look at it in respect from afar but say they could not possibly pay the price it takes to have it.
Choosing purity is definitely a great value. It is not just an action but an expression of the inner most heart, a way of living. I haven’t succeeded in purity. I’ve claimed to for a long time, and I honestly believed that I had a right to, but the bible is clear. Matthew 5:28 states, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
If you have had or fantasized lustful thoughts, you have in that moment chosen to be impure.
After so many young adults and teens signed agreements like True Love Waits, studies came out that sexually transmitted diseases were spreading more and more rapidly. The idea was that everything but actual intercourse…was ok. It’s not o.k. But how do you live a pure life when so many around you choose not to? It is so hard. It is hard anyway.
I have seriously thought about ALL that I have missed out on because of choosing to wait. It has cost me the opportunity to date on numerous occasions. I have lived my whole adult life thus far hardly dating at all, just to save it. While everyone else has had boyfriends and live-in boyfriends and people to go places with, I have not. Not many people choose to date when they know sex is not involved. So I have found myself at a point of almost regretting having made it such a priority. The funny thing is, I don’t think that I really claim this anymore. I know I can not claim it. There is a point when you have gone far enough that it has just been too far. As an adult woman not yet married, my initial thought was that now I can finally have that life of dating and sex. Why not? If I can’t claim it anyway, I might as well. But the truth is, I don’t want to do that. I want purity. I want a pure heart ready to be used by the Lord and to serve him. I want what can only come from laying it all down in front the cross.
I am not good with my sexual desires and thoughts. I have always struggled there. I think we all do. Jeremiah 32:27 states, "Look, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me?" I may not be strong enough but my God is and I am going to give my weakness to Him every time because I want what comes from that rare, pure gift of purity.
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