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Wading the storms of Life...together in word.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Judgment…looking at someone at face value.

Picture by Judy Royal Glenn, author of http://walkbyfaithquestionsconcerningdeath.blogspot.com/

What is face value?  Well, according to the American Heritage Dictionary (2nd Edition 1983), face value is “the value printed on a bill, bond, ect.”  To me though, face value is the value you give another human being based solely on what you see at that given moment.

I went to the library today. I haven’t been feeling well and was only planning to pick up lunch.  So instead of fixing my hair and wearing makeup, I grabbed a ball cap and just went. I had had a shower (good thing) but my hair was frizzy and I was dressed like a mixed matched hiker with white legs. We all have had moments like this haven’t we?  Going places looking horrible thinking no one will notice?   Well in my case, someone did.  The very librarian that has been overly friendly to me on my “dressed up days” now gave me a look like she couldn’t even stand to answer my question.  Her face was scowled, her eyebrows drawn, and her ‘should have been’ friendly smile was replaced with a snarl.  It actually made her look just as bad as me. The other gentleman helping didn’t seem to be bothered at all.  He was friendly and smiling, helpful and kind.  I walked out with a completely different impression of the “rude” librarian than I had had the several times before where she had been friendly.

What the librarian didn’t realize and what so many of us don’t realize is the damage that judgment causes. Because of her judgment, I am less liking to want to go to her for help in the future.    

I think we all judge to a certain degree.  We naturally have thoughts and opinions that come across in ways that we do not realize or maybe don’t care to realize. I think we need to be aware of it though, realizing the damage that it causes. 

In the past few years, I have been blessed by different friends and acquaintances coming to me with a burden they have had, asking for prayer and support. I have loved being able to be there for them and pray with them.  What has stood out to me, though, is the number of times that they have said, “I came to you because I knew you wouldn’t judge me.”  Wow!  First off, what a compliment and second off, they were right.  I had no reason to judge what they had gone through or were sharing.  I would have so missed out had I given them a reason to believe that I would have judged them in any way. 

I know a lot of people in my life that I “should” be able to go to.  I don’t though because I too receive judgment and criticism from them. I can see it in their eyes and the way they react to me or even how they listen or don’t listen.  You know who you can go to in life and who you can’t.

As the church, this must be our greatest flaw other than pride,.
Huge groups of people choose not to know Christ because of what they know about us. 

In the book, Unchristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, we see the importance of laying our judgments down to truly “be in the world” being the hands and feet.  On page 132, they state “Christ calls His followers to be active missionaries to the culture.  This culture is offensive, but we cannot take offense.  It is increasingly hostile to Christians and to whom we claim to represent, but we cannot respond with anger when people express their skepticism, and we are not meant to be isolationists.  (meaning to separate entirely, even compared to being quarantined) Jesus described our role most succinctly; we are to be in but not of the world (see John 17:14-18)” 

I think often of the fact of Christ coming to earth.  I think we tend to ignore how drastically Christ came to us and met us in our sins and failures to show love and acceptance. He was God after all, living in heaven and yet still coming to this earth to reach us, love us and serve us.  How then do we have such a difficult time doing that for others? 

Please understand that I am not saying that we shouldn’t be set apart. The bible states clearly that we are set apart and that we should act like His children not doing the things we once did. To be set apart means not thinking and acting like we did before. It doesn’t mean not loving and accepting anymore.  We show evidence of pride as though we have accomplished our faith process.  Pride is never once accepted as a good quality according to scripture, and faith comes directly from Him and not of ourselves that we should brag about (Ephesians 2:8). 
 
My point is this.  When we judge others on face value, we are the ones that miss out.  We are the ones that fail to get the whole story and see the full worth of any person, and in the end we are the ones that look bad.  It is possible that some other reason caused this woman to react this way but I doubt it.  Her facial expression was pretty easy to read, as are so many others. 

What I know from my experience is that I have gained a lot in my painful times of working past other people’s judgments.  It has given me a strength that I need.  I know who I am. I know what I need to do, and I am not going to let someone else's ignorance keep me from doing it.

3 comments:

  1. I love this post! Judgement is truly very painful...I've been there too. I wish people realized how freeing it is to just love others and not have to be their judge. God is the only judge, and when we realize that, we have the freedom to love and help others however we can, without having the pressure of being their "judge."

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  2. I am so with you! I’m bi-polar with severe depression. We lost our son, Joshua, in Nov 2003 when he was 16.

    People THINK I should move on with life. Why can’t they just love me and not judge me.

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  3. Judgment is a critical factor
    often times i think of God and How in our sin and unworthiness He still love us more than we could ever know, with that in mind i judge people less and less and open and expand my horizons

    When i was of the world I almost always judged who i associated with by outwards appearance but beauty is fleeting and I soon have learned that inner beauty is sooo much more important

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