Are these words not being said in wedding ceremonies
anymore? “In sickness and in health,
till death do you part.”
Now, I’m not married and even though I want to be, I
seriously question my willingness to stick it out when faced with a time of
really not loving my husband, or just being completely disgusted or
disappointed by him. So, the idea of walking away I definitely get. That is probably why I haven’t done it yet. But there is a reason that we said these vows
so long ago and why they are called vows.
What kind of commitment do you have if it is superficial, if
you know that it is only based on you being a certain way at a certain time?
“I’m not going to love you or stand
by you if you get sick. I’m sorry that
just inconveniences me.”
“I’m just not attracted to you now
that you have gained 20 pounds. I’m
sorry.”
“We are just not the same people
anymore.”
“I just don’t love you like I use
to.”
Marriage isn’t something that is built for just a
season. It isn’t something established
to revolve around you. Marriage is a
commitment, an involvement, a follow through.
When you get married, it is with the intention that things will change. Your feelings will change. Your looks will change. My grandparents are beautiful people, but
they did not look the same at the end of their life as when they first married,
but their love was stronger than it had ever been. And it is a guarantee that you will fall out
of love with your spouse. I say that
because to us, love is a feeling and feelings change. There are no guarentees with feelings. The
truth is that LOVE is an act. It is
something you choose to do even when you don’t feel like doing it. It is something that grows deep with nurture
and care. The more hard times you go through
and work through, the more deeply rooted your Love becomes.
And this is the love we all want, whether we admit it or
not. To love without loss. To love without regret. To love without fear of losing. To love and
to grow. To love and to trust. Love that walks away is never love like
this.
The real question in any marriage is how deep of a love do
you really want, and what are you willing to do to have that kind of love?